January 12, 2020.
When deciding if I should keep a log about my infertility journey at the beginning was confusing. I had thought about it but wasn’t sure if it was something I was capable of doing. My emotions were all over the place. I never wanted children before I met my husband. I never thought I would get married. I never thought I would ever met anyone I would want to spend my entire life with and build with. I was single and very content. After meeting the love of my life and wanting everything we can possibly build together for the first time in my life, I wanted a beautiful family of my own.
After being with my husband for three years and not getting pregnant, I thought I was just getting lucky. Than, we decided to grow our family and nothing was happening. I wasn’t worried. I knew my menstrual cycle was a hot mess. Sometimes it would be ten days late, then I would skip a month, then I would have it two weeks after I just had a cycle. So, naturally I thought my timing was off. And yet, still nothing.
I decided to make an appointment with a reproductive specialist and see if I could get my cycle more regulated. This is when I received the news of my infertility. All of a sudden I felt a brokenness.
This is not the beginning of my journey, in fact I am about six months in. This particular journey actually started at the beginning of July of last year, July 2019. I have taken several steps to even get to where I am now. One of these steps includes not only accepting my situation but also owning it and finally being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am finally in a position mentally, emotionally and physically to fully embrace this journey and to take it on with everything I have.
A Wild Ride 